Having & Raising a Baby in Italy as a Foreigner
Some observations on birth, babyhood, and bureaucracy.
I usually like to write about style, fashion, travel, and other visually inspirational topics I’ve dove into since moving to Italy in 2019 as it’s my favorite way to decompress while checking-in with my creative muscle that can sometimes get lazy (I am a taurus through and through). But since it’s my first Mother’s Day, this one feels extra personal.
I have kept an on-going, semi-random list in my iPhone’s notes app of some things I have personally experienced, observed, and felt as an American living in Italy as a first time mamma this past year.
**These are my personal experiences. Everyone’s journey is unique and may be reflected in a different light.**
Public health care is a beautiful thing that should be universal.
Maternity and pediatric care is included in Italy’s public health care system, known as the Servizio Sanitario Nazionale (SSN), which is mostly free or of low-cost.
Essenitally my entire birth experience and hospital stay was free. Of course, in Italy, our taxes are higher, so, sure, nothing is necessarily “free.” But being able to walk into a clean hospital with consistent care and comfort and walk out four days later without a bill or some financial anxiety is a beautiful thing that I will never take for granted.
Not only did I stay in the hospital from Monday night to Friday morning (no birth complications), but the nurses kept all babies overnight, allowing the mothers to really rest and physically recover as much as possible.
But sexism is still very much alive in the country.
Sexism and gender-role based “expectations” exist everywhere, even in the most liberal, progressive countries. But in Italy, it’s still very much alive. Specifically in Naples, where I gave birth, it can cut you like a knife. It’s the classic, disheartening tale we hoped would be long behind us but, unfortunately, it’s still here. And it goes like this: "Ma tu sei la mamma!" (But, you are the mother!).
I’ve seen so many men (and sometimes other women) give that blood-boiling, mind-boggling response to simple requests from mothers when they ask their counterpart to participate more: "But you’re the mother! Of course, you’ll handle it all!"
Getting dressed and "sprezzatura" doesn’t stop at child birth.
Overall, I wouldn’t say there’s this nationally recogninzed Italian mom “dress code” or “uniform.” Sure, style evolves with time—age, new life chapters, maturity, etc.—but what stood out was how many women simply continued with their personal style, from pre-baby to post-baby.
Birth certificates aren’t issued in the hospital.
Instead, you have until ten days after being discharged from the hospital to register the baby’s birth with your local town hall office. Is it even Italy without mundane errands, unnecessary paperwork, and long queues in buildings without any A/C or organization, even three days PP?
Postpartum mental difficulties? Never heard of her.
Maybe it’s because I gave birth in a more traditional, southern city, but I’ve heard similar stories from other foreign moms across Italy that no one really checks in on the mother’s mental state after birth. I would say postpartum anxiety or depression are definitely “recognized” in Italy, but what is being done to check in on the new mothers?
In my experience, the only person who asked how I was really doing mentally was my own mom who was also the only person allowed to be with me during my hospital stay.
Breastfeeding is HIGHLY encouraged.
To the point that there is a lot of shame around breastfeeding if you choose not to or it is not a fit for you or baby. Even on the baby formula containers, an advisory message reads: Important notice—breast milk is the ideal food for the infant…is this the same in other countries?
I really haven’t seen the fed is best messaging here.
Just because you're raising your child in a different country than your birth country doesn’t mean you have to adopt EVERY parenting “technique.”
Italian’s don’t swaddle their babies, bed-time is MUCH later, there’s isn’t much adherence to a nap “schedule,” and baby-led weaning is still a bit…taboo. I’ve adopted them all, minus the late-bed time, and that’s okay!
The sock police is always on the prowl.
Please don’t ever think about leaving the house without socks on your child. You’ll be scolded by strangers from morning to night. My baby never wanted to keep his socks on, still doesn’t, clearly something I can’t control. So now, I just laugh at the panic and sheer terror in a stranger’s eyes when they see him in his stroller with piedi nudi!
But at the same time, babies are welcomed in Italian society with open arms.
Babies are accepted everywhere in Italy. EVERYWHERE! A late-night dinner reservation? No problem, bring the baby. A weekend wedding in a seaside town? No problem, the baby is invited too! Is the baby screaming his head off in a 30-minute taxi ride? Non ti preoccupare! That's simply what babies do.
It is very refreshing, and made my new-mom anxiety go from a level 9 to a 6 on any given day.
Not having to worry about the quality of formula, food, and baby products should also be the norm.
Italy and the EU have extremely high standards and strict quality control when it comes to what goes into and is used in baby products, baby food, baby formula, and baby toys. In many ways, I have a deeply trusting relationship with our Italian government and the EU, which is a privilege I’m grateful for.
Italy is a flawed country.
Yes, Italy isn’t perfect. But I couldn’t imagine raising my child anywhere else. There are so many positives that outweigh the negatives of Italian baby life: school safety, a family-centered culture, access to so much history and beauty, food and product quality, an outdoor lifestyle, access to public transportation (that sometimes don’t work), the list goes on.
If you’re interested in reading more about raising a child in Italy, I loved this read by
:
Not the piedi nudi!!
Love this ❤️I am half Italian and grew up in Rome as a small child , I miss Italy so much ! It’s nice to see your perspective - I am raising my babies in the US, but I kept a European mindset for a lot of things maybe because this is what I know best! The later bedtime and the high quality of foods speaks to me!